


can you hear my heartbeat?

by AmazingAbigail



Series: Fixing Yesterdays [4]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: F/M, Margo is the most annoying character I've ever written, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Romance, Story divergence, Teen Angst, but i love her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 22:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19412992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingAbigail/pseuds/AmazingAbigail
Summary: Margo could tell him





	can you hear my heartbeat?

_I steal a glance at Neil, who is on the other side of Todd. He’s laughing and clapping along with the others._

I could tell him.

_I jerk my head away from him and swallow hard. My heart is pounding at the thought. No. No I couldn’t. Why do I think I could?_

Captain tells us to walk, and in the chaos of the courtyard, I leave. I’ve never ditched a class before, but I can’t stay here.

_I could tell him._

I go up to my room and wait out the rest of the class. I skip lunch for good measure. I debate skipping History, but I figure the more I’m around, the less anyone will question me.

I’m in the room already when the rest of the class enters. Charlie says something sarcastic to me about skipping lunch, but no one mentions English. I catch Neil’s eye and I turn away quickly.

_I could tell him._

Neil tries to talk to me after dinner, about our Chemistry projects, but I tell him I’m not feeling good and I go to my room. I ignore the knocks that come later.

_Because I could tell him._

Neil tries to talk to me the next couple days, but I don’t talk to him long. I’m so worried about what’ll come out of my mouth, because for the next couple days, every time I see him, the same four words run through my mind.

_I could tell him._

_I could tell him._

_I could tell him._

Everyone is being cautious around me, and I hate it. But I’ve done this to myself, so I have no one to blame but myself.

My bedroom door flies open Friday after dinner. Knox must be getting ready for Chris’ party, and the meeting isn’t due to start for another couple hours, so I turn, confused.

Neil’s in the doorway, and I don’t know why I thought it would be anyone else but him. He closes the door almost the whole way, and if I could speak, I’d ask him to open it a bit.

_I could tell him._

“What’s going on?” he asks, stepping into the room. He’s too close. I stand and take a step back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tell him. I lean against my bed post, trying to seem relaxed, even though my heart is pounding so hard in my chest it almost hurts.

_I could tell him._

“I’m talking about you, and the fact you aren’t talking to anyone.”

“I’m fine,” I say quickly and almost cringe at how very _not fine_ I sound.

Neil approaches me, and I have to fight to stay where I am. I don’t want him this close; he can’t be this close.

“Talk to me,” he begs. His voice sounds strained.

My stomach drops. “I can’t,” I whisper

He rests his hand on my arm and I feel myself blush. I don’t want him here, I don’t-

No. No, that’s not right. I want him here. I’ve never wanted him here more.

_I’m going to tell him._

“Why?” he asks.

“Because then I’ll tell you.”

His hand tightens on my arm. “Tell me what?”

I look up at him. He looks so confused, so panicked, that I almost want to laugh. He’s watching me, waiting for me to speak. I get this overwhelming urge to hug him, to kiss him, to just be closer to him.

But instead, I tell him, “I love you.”

He takes a half step back. He clearly wasn’t expecting that out come from my mouth. “What?” he asks, sounding breathless.

“I love you,” I repeat. “I have for a long time.” I confess. It feels so wonderful to finally tell him. I feel lightheaded. “I haven’t been fair to you.” I’m just barely aware of his hand still on my arm. “I should have told you sooner, and I’m sorry.” He doesn’t respond, but his eyes have lit up. “I’ve been avoiding you because I thought I didn’t want to tell you, but in reality I’m just an idiot and I should have told you on the Fourth.”

He’s starting to smile. He moves back towards me.

“Will you say something?” I beg. “You’re scaring me.”

He takes one step closer and kisses me. I lean on my toes to press into the kiss. His other hand moves to my waist and he pulls me as close to him as possible. I run my hands through his hair.

When we pull apart, he leans his forehead against mine. “I love you too.”


End file.
